just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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