Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
