I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
