it wasn't lemon gatorade
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
