do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
