the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
