we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
