did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
