i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i will never coherently bang her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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