WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
