You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
