Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think i have two assholes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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