I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
