when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
