I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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