She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
