So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
