remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
