I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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