i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
