I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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