i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
