I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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