Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
