No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
