hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
