this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
