i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
