No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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