after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
