overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
