There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why do cheetos always look like penises
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
