Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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