you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
