im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
