What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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