When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
