Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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