omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
