dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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