Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
