god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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