Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
