Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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