Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
