don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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