is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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