Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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