best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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