I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
