The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
