bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think people are normalizing furries
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
