Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
