One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
